Draft the demand
We demand that pump.fun
apologize to my portfolio
NameThe Apology Act
Ticker$SORRY
We, the trenchers, demand that pump.fundo the airdrop.
pump.fun still hasn’t airdropped, so we’re filing on their doorstep. Every petition is a coin, every buyer is a signature, and every trade is one more knock on the door.
We, the trenchers, have watched one website eat the attention of an entire chain, then tell us an airdrop was coming soon. It is still coming soon. We asked nicely. We did not ask nicely. So we did what every mass movement in history has done: we wrote it down, we made everyone sign it, and we attached a bonding curve.
Exhibit A — The missing parcel
0
days since the PUMP ICO, and pump.fun still hasn’t airdropped.
- Item
- One (1) airdrop
- Sender
- pump.fun
- Recipient
- Everybody who heard "coming soon"
- Promised
- "Coming soon", ICO, July 2025
- Delivery attempts
- 0
- Status
- Not delivered
go on, maybe today
As far as we can tell, anyway. If it ever lands, we’ll amend the record. Petition coins don’t get you an airdrop from anyone, including us.
§ 2 — Procedure
- 01
Draft the demand
Fill in the blank. One line, in your own words, that finishes the sentence every holder will be signing.
- 02
Choose your route
pump.fun, right on their doorstep, paired to $PETITION with 0.3% of every trade paid to holders. Or boycott them: Meteora, the side street, where pump.fun doesn't see a cent.
- 03
Stamp it
Hold down the stamp. Your wallet signs, the coin is minted, the petition goes on the record. On-chain. Forever.
- 04
March
Every buyer is a signer. Anybody can co-sign with their wallet for free. Your poster goes up on the Wall, and the crowd does the rest.
Choose your route
Route of march (tick one)
pump.fun their front door
Meteora the boycott
Stamp it
For office use only
Filed
x The Trenchers
March
Signatures to date
…and counting
§ 3 — Route of march
Two roads.
One closed.
Every petition is a real coin on a real bonding curve, launched through public programs we don’t control. The main road goes straight to pump.fun’s front door. The one to the airdrop is still closed.
§ 4 — The record
Sign
the first
one.
Before any coin, there’s the master petition. It costs nothing and needs no wallet, only your hand. Draw on the line. It goes on the permanent wall below.
00000hands on the record
To whom it may concern at pump.fun:
We, the trenchers, being of sound mind and unsound portfolio, do hereby petition you to read this, and then to do the airdrop. We are launching elsewhere. We’ll keep launching elsewhere. Should you wish to discuss the matter, you know where to find us: everywhere else.
this wall is blank. yours would be the first.
§ 6 — The demands, non-negotiable, subject to negotiation
- 01Do the airdropyou said soon. we wrote it down.
- 02No vampsone coin, one ticker, one hat
- 03No PVPlet the first one just win
- 04Read the petitionall of them, out loud
- 05Lower the feesor at least feel bad about it
- 06Answer the doorwe've been knocking since block one
- 07Add a suggestion boxwe have suggestions
- 08Make it a little more funit says .fun right there in the name
- 09Or elsewe launch another one
§ 7 — Motion to adjourn: denied
Your turn.
Revolutions have started over less. This one started over an airdrop that never landed.
File a petition